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Be Positive. But Not Ridiculously Positive.

Finally this week, something that may sound strange after everything I’ve written about how difficult this market is.

Maybe be positive.

Not ridiculously positive. Not pretend-everything-is-wonderful positive.

Balanced positive.

I’m 67. I intend to keep doing this for another 15 years or so. I feel positive about my work, my family and where my life is going.

That’s despite disappointments. Despite mistakes. And despite losing money myself.

I’ve Lost Money Too

I’m not writing from some higher moral ground.

About 20 years ago I lost a significant amounts in a situation involving family, property and millions of dollars.

It hurt at the time. But some of the real hurt came later. If I was honest I would say I still feel a bit today. But it does not overwhelm me and truth is – it’s happened to most of us even if we don’t want to admit it.

The financial loss became mixed with the relationships. The disappointment became negativity. And over time, the negativity did more damage than the original loss.

I don’t think that benefited anybody. Including me.

I wish I’d been better at separating the financial loss from the human relationship.

So I’m not saying I’ve got this worked out. I’m saying I’ve lived some of it.

1. Start By Being Polite

This sounds ridiculously simple.

You can disagree strongly and still be polite. You can reject an offer, tell a seller their expectations are unrealistic, or put an argument the other side doesn’t want to hear.

Politely.

Being polite isn’t being weak. In my experience, aggression very rarely makes a bad property situation better.

2. Think About What The Other Side Wants

“Mal, why should I care? I want to cream them. I want them to feel some of my pain.”

Okay. But does that actually help you?

I’ve negotiated most of my working life and I still believe in win-win. My client comes first. But very often the best way to get what my client wants is to understand what the other side wants too.

Maybe it’s settlement. Confidentiality. Certainty. Timing. A six-month rent back. Or simply not feeling humiliated.

If you can give the other side something important to them but inexpensive to you, why wouldn’t you?

Yes zero sum has been made popular by some famous people lately but is it working all the time. I will use zero sum but I will also use win-win if I am allowed. Win-win isn’t soft. Often it’s simply better negotiating.

3. What Do You Actually Want?

Say you’re older and want to trade down. You bought 20 years ago. Your home is worth considerably more than you paid, but considerably less than somebody told you three years ago.

So you refuse to sell.

That’s your choice. But what is your actual goal?

The price somebody mentioned in 2023? Or a home that’s easier to manage, some money freed up, travel, helping the children, enjoying the next stage of life?

Those aren’t necessarily the same goal.

Don’t let disappointment about yesterday’s number make today’s decision for you.

And Buyers, Think About The Opposite

Here’s one of property life’s great conundrums.

It’s a buyer’s market only because fewer buyers want to buy.

When everyone at the dinner party says property is fantastic, you have plenty of competition. When everyone says you’re mad to buy, there may be considerably less.

That doesn’t mean rush out and buy anything. But with financial capacity, good advice, a long horizon and the right property at the right price, negativity can create opportunity.

Particularly if you’re trading up. The gap between what you sell and what you buy may matter far more than your home being worth 10% less than it once was.

IT’S A GREAT TIME TO TRADE UP AND WE ARE BUYING FOR SOME OF THOSE CLIENTS.

I’ve seen the negative side of property. But over nearly 40 years, I’ve also seen property give my family opportunities that wages alone never would have.

4. Food. Fitness. Friends.

And what if none of this helps? Negative equity. You need to sell. Bad decisions. Life just hasn’t gone well.

Start small. Three Fs.

Eat a little better. Get up tomorrow and walk. Talk to somebody who leaves you feeling better, not worse.

A few years ago, when I had some personal difficulties, I went into myself a bit. I didn’t put in the work friendships need.

More recently I’ve tried to change that. More lunches. More phone calls. More time with people I like.

And it’s been positive.

If every conversation you have is angry and about what’s gone wrong, eventually that becomes the world you think you live in.

To The Younger AgentsYou haven’t worked through a market like this before.

Your boss: “Why aren’t you making budget?”

Your seller: “Why aren’t you getting my price?”

Your buyer: “Why should I believe anything you tell me?”

People will waste your time, pump you for information and tell you things that aren’t true.

I had one this week. A very smooth, experienced businessperson took me down the garden path, gathering as much information as possible with seemingly total intention of engaging me and didn’t. I used to think more fool me and hey if you do it too many times then true, but occasionally it’s going to happen.

It annoyed me….. but for about 90 seconds.

For here’s the danger. What if I treat the next person as if they’ll do the same? And the person after that?

Eventually mistrust becomes your default setting. And you’ve let somebody else’s poor behaviour change yours.

Don’t Let A Bad Market Make You A Worse Agent

When people treat you badly, it’s easy to think: “Well, that’s how the game is played.”

A little trick here. Don’t disclose that there. Tell the seller what they want to hear to get the listing.

Maybe it gets you the deal. Maybe it gets you to budget. Maybe it buys the new suit.

But where does that road take you?

Your reputation compounds just like money does. For a while, but truth catches up with us all.

You Can Be Nice Without Being Naive

I’m not suggesting Kumbaya.

Qualify people. Protect your time. Choose the jobs worth chasing. Say no. Be commercial.

But remain decent.

Start with politeness. Be helpful where it’s appropriate. Firm when you need to be. Then move on.

Real Estate Isn’t Your Whole Life

When real estate is booming, it’s intoxicating. Deal. Deal. Deal.

It’s like playing footy for the Brisbane Lions when they’re winning premierships.

But when it isn’t going well, you discover something important.

Real estate is your profession. It isn’t your entire life.

You didn’t make budget? Your children still love you.

The listing went elsewhere? Your partner still wants to have dinner with you.

The buyer walked? Your friends aren’t checking your sales figures before inviting you for a beer.

Decide Who You Want To Be

Work hard. Get better at difficult conversations. Look after your clients. Make money.

But don’t let a difficult market, or somebody else’s poor behaviour, turn you into somebody you don’t like.

I’ve made money. I’ve lost money. I’ve had great years and horrible transactions. I’ve dealt with wonderful people and some absolute shockers.

And I can still say there is no better job.

The aim isn’t merely to survive a difficult market. It’s to come through it a better agent, with your reputation, your relationships and the rest of your life intact.

Because markets change.

Who you become while you’re going through them can last a lot longer.

Mal James
James Buy Sell Advocates

In my extra time of life outside real estate, I’m writing a novel. A thriller. I’m a long way through it, and one thing you learn when writing a novel is to examine the human condition.

I suppose, in many ways, I’ve always been an examiner of the human condition. Some would say, “Yes, superficially, Mal, because you’re mainly focused on yourself.” They’re the unkind ones. Perhaps the accurate ones. Others would say, “You hide it well.”

One thing I’m noticing in our market is a change in how people are responding to it. I think we’ve moved from shock towards acceptance. Acceptance that prices are falling, that the market has changed, and that wanting last year’s price doesn’t necessarily produce last year’s buyer.

You could see it this week.

We’ve also been out examining the pluses and minuses of the new reserve system. From what I’ve seen, it’s working absolutely fine. Probably better if you want to transact. Possibly less well if your strategy relies on keeping people guessing.

That distinction isn’t necessarily about which side of the buying or selling fence you sit on. It’s about how comfortable you are with transparency.

Anyway, back to the human condition.

For many people, particularly those of us who are older, the world seems to be moving from comfort towards challenge. That can be deeply troubling. Although I suspect moving from challenge to comfort can unsettle some of us too. We get used to how things are. Even the difficult bits.

We like security. We like feeling safe. Consistency helps give us that.

And there’s an odd thing happening in this falling market: there is now some consistency about it. People don’t like the results, and they’re still trying to challenge them—which is fair enough; I would be too—but increasingly they seem able to accept them and get on with their decisions.

There we go. A level of comfort, even in a market that’s challenging.

For much of the past thirty years in Australia, many of us have also had a comforting belief: whatever financial mistakes we make, the property will eventually help fix them.

A business goes poorly. A financial decision doesn’t work out. We get ourselves into a bit of trouble. There’s always the investment property, or the family home. Sell it, release some money, sort things out.

That’s a powerful safety net to believe in. When the value of that safety net falls, it challenges more than our asking price.

I’ve spent plenty of my own life sailing fairly close to the wind financially. Nearly twenty years ago, I’d built up substantial assets. Then, through family circumstances and decisions—and probably poor stewardship on my part—those assets disappeared.

Was that a major blow? Yes. And occasionally, when I’d like a large bucket of money to go and do something, I still think it was.

But that period also became part of a much bigger change in my life. My marriage ended. The business I’m in now developed. From divorce came a relationship that lasted a very strong decade, which I wouldn’t have experienced had I stayed married.

And along came this wonderful job, which gives me direction and meaning. Had I continued making money from property purchases and developments, I might never have found quite this working life.

Every day I get out of bed, I have issues to deal with and things to work through because I need to earn money.

And I think it’s fantastic.

I’m not pretending I enjoyed every part of getting here.

There were times I would happily have taken the comfort and left somebody else the challenge.

But I’m comfortable with where I’ve landed. A lot of what I value in my life now grew out of a period I wouldn’t have chosen.